How to Tell if a Coach is Playing Favorites
One of the most common complaints in, perhaps all sports, is that the coach is playing favorites. Whether that charge is coming from a player, spectator, or parent, it is often a charge without merit and one that only causes further divide on the team.
However, what if the coach is playing favorites? Below, we’ll explain how to tell if a coach is playing favorites and what steps you can take to mitigate the situation respectfully, professionally, and maturely.
What is Playing Favorites?
Whether it be in basketball, soccer, football, baseball, hockey, or any number of sports, the act of playing favorites is generally frowned upon and is a negative connotation and accusation. When a player or spectator charges that a coach is playing favorites, it simply means that they believe the coach is playing, or not playing, a certain player due to a personal reason.
The reasons why a coach might play favorites can vary. However, oftentimes, a coach that does play favorites may have a personal relationship to one of the players, i.e., one of the players is related to them. In addition, a coach may choose to play favorites based on a business relationship with the family of one of the players.
In addition, a coach may play favorites by not playing a certain player. This could happen if the coach fought with one of the players or if the coach felt that the player was disrespectful. Many times, a coach may appear to be playing favorites, but the reality is that maybe something did occur that warranted the coach’s decision.
How Can You Know if a Coach is Playing Favorites?
Generally, it is quite difficult to know if a coach is or isn’t playing favorites. If a coach is playing favorites, they are unlikely to reveal that. However, there are some telltale signs that favoritism may be at work.
For example, if a star player is being benched or underutilized, then that may be cause for concern. Not only does benching your best player cause resentment but it also impacts the success of the entire team and organization.
Additionally, you can tell if a coach is playing favorites by their demeanor and attitude to a certain player. If the coach mocks, belittles, and ignores a player, then there may be some level of favoritism going on.
Lastly, another telltale sign of a coach playing favorites is if the coach refuses to have a player play in the game. While some players may see little to no game time, especially with close games or must-win games, there are situations where the entire bench may replace the starters.
However, if a coach replaces all the starts and continues to refuse to play one player, then it is likely that they are playing favorites. This can be demoralizing and stigmatizing against that student or athlete.
Why is Playing Favorites Bad?
Playing favorites is not only morally wrong but it can also be demoralizing for both the individual athlete and the team as a whole. In a group sport, like basketball, soccer, or football, playing favorites can jeopardize the bonds between players.
In addition, by playing favorites, a coach is setting up a feud between players. Some players may empathize with the benched player while others may opt to take the coach’s position.
Lastly, by playing favorites, a coach sets themselves up for backlash from the team, parents, and spectators. If a coach is playing favorites, they will lose the trust and respect of the players, fans, and organization and could see themselves not part of the team for much longer.
How to Mitigate with a Coach Playing Favorites
A charge of favoritism made against a head coach is a serious offense and one that should not be done lightly. However, if you are concerned about favoritism, there are a number of solutions you can take to mitigate the issue.
The first, and best option, is to speak with the coach privately. This conversation should be confidential and should not ignite rumors amongst other players, staff, and fans. When speaking to the coach, simply list out your reasons for believing that favoritism is occurring and ask the coach what can be done.
In addition, let the coach know that you are willing to put in extra work and practice to get to the point where they can trust and believe in your abilities. This will help the coach in guiding you to your goals and helping you to achieve them.
In addition to speaking with your coach, you should look at your weaknesses in the game. Perhaps you don’t have as reliable of a basketball shot as some other players, or perhaps you have a difficult time guarding other players, or perhaps you don’t put in full effort during a game or practice.
Whatever it may be, take the time to acknowledge your own weaknesses and put in the extra effort. This means practicing your sport outside of regularly scheduled practice sessions and watching film to get better at the game.
Also, stay positive. While the feeling of being singled out can be frustrating, you should remain positive and know that you are not only willing, but also capable, of proving yourself. Getting down, frustrated, and upset won’t help you.
Turn that negativity into motivation.
Lastly, you should aim to make an impact on your team, in whatever manner you can. Whether that’s hustling back on defense, or bringing extra sports drinks for everyone, or simply cheering on other players, you should think and play for the betterment of the team as a whole.